In response to Randy Tayler’s suggestion that someone write a song about John Boehner, to the tune of Master of the House from Les Miserables, I bring you these lyrics. Be sure to listen to the music:

http://youtu.be/SFPsEwV38Q0

while reading the lyrics. Note: Señor Tayler contributed lyrics as well.

Speaker of the House

Welcome good sir,

lay yourself down,

and tell us please what level of brown.

 

Spray-on’s no good,

won’t last too long,

a real tan will always make you look strong.

 

Seldom do you see,

Ohio boys so tan,

a gent of strange intent, with no helpful plan.

 

Speaker of the House,

doling out the smarm,

ready with a handshake and an open palm.

 

Tells a fishy tale,

weeps a little tear,

takes a stance that thrives upon the people’s fear.

 

Glad to do his pals a favor,

doing what’s been always done.

Cause for libs and cons alike, the status quo’s really quite fun.

 

Speaker of the House,

keeper of the zoo,

ready to relieve us of a right or two.

 

Oppose laws on this day,

support them on the next,

at least he doesn’t send naked pictures over text.

 

Everybody loves the congress,

everybody wants them out.

Tanned and suited nicely, they’ve got us in a rut.

 

Speaker of the House,

will not break his pledge,

will not steer the bus but drive it off the ledge.

 

Servant to the rich,

Deaf ear to the rest,

Trust him that he always knows just what is best.

 

Thinks he’s got a good idea.

Nothing but a mindless drone!

Cause for libs and cons alike, the status quo’s really quite fun!

 

Any suggestions on improvements? Am I too harsh? Too easy on him?

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Jared Garrett

Author of the Beat Series

Speaker of the House: A Musical