Speaker of the House: A Musical

In response to Randy Tayler’s suggestion that someone write a song about John Boehner, to the tune of Master of the House from Les Miserables, I bring you these lyrics. Be sure to listen to the music:


while reading the lyrics. Note: Señor Tayler contributed lyrics as well.

Speaker of the House

Welcome good sir,

lay yourself down,

and tell us please what level of brown.


Spray-on’s no good,

won’t last too long,

a real tan will always make you look strong.


Seldom do you see,

Ohio boys so tan,

a gent of strange intent, with no helpful plan.


Speaker of the House,

doling out the smarm,

ready with a handshake and an open palm.


Tells a fishy tale,

weeps a little tear,

takes a stance that thrives upon the people’s fear.


Glad to do his pals a favor,

doing what’s been always done.

Cause for libs and cons alike, the status quo’s really quite fun.


Speaker of the House,

keeper of the zoo,

ready to relieve us of a right or two.


Oppose laws on this day,

support them on the next,

at least he doesn’t send naked pictures over text.


Everybody loves the congress,

everybody wants them out.

Tanned and suited nicely, they’ve got us in a rut.


Speaker of the House,

will not break his pledge,

will not steer the bus but drive it off the ledge.


Servant to the rich,

Deaf ear to the rest,

Trust him that he always knows just what is best.


Thinks he’s got a good idea.

Nothing but a mindless drone!

Cause for libs and cons alike, the status quo’s really quite fun!


Any suggestions on improvements? Am I too harsh? Too easy on him?

About jaredgarrett

Jared Garrett is the author of Beat, a YA scifi thriller, and its forthcoming sequel, both published by Future House Publishing. A new series, debuting in January 2016 and also published by Future House, kicks off with Lakhoni, a fast-paced rescue adventure in a world reminiscent of Aztec culture, to be released in January 2016. He self-published Beyond the Cabin, a novelization of his childhood in a cult, in December 2014. Both Beat and Beyond the Cabin were Whitney Award nominees, and his story Song of the Wind, received honorable mention in the Writers of the Future contest. In addition to writing, he's spent fifteen years in adult education and is an accomplished public speaker and workshop leader.
This entry was posted in Blog and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.